Sunday, April 22, 2012

The 3.0 Version of Me

So another decade has flown by which brings on a slew of emotions as I contemplate where I have been and more importantly where I am going. Luckily my twenties surpassed many expectation about falling in love, getting married, graduating from college, working as a teacher, and finally becoming a mother, so it is difficult for me to feel anything but truly blessed.

 I was lucky enough to find a good man. Although the journey to him was often uncomfortable filled with heart ache, sad songs, and wondering if he was really out there. Somehow when I stopped looking I found him. At first glance I had no idea that our roads would one day so intimately intertwine, but within a year we both realized that our friendship was nothing less than extraordinary. Together we made a commitment to each other, our family, and God to continue to love one another.  Hopefully this bond reaches into eternity.

It is difficult to explain a relationship that is still growing and changing, but my husband continues to surprise me with his patience, love, forgiveness, and ambition that somehow brings out superhuman qualities in myself that I always dreamed of possessing.

 I graduated college with a teaching degree and spent six years crafting my art, which was not an easy process as I discovered all my inadequacies. Even in the end I was still terrified that I wasn't good enough. Sadly I think this feeling may take a lifetime to overcome. Somehow among my insecurities I found a simple happiness in watching my students learn and I enjoyed being part of their journey for a while.

Finally I was blessed with a baby that has taught me to love deeper than I thought possible. This feeling is so great that it extends not only to her but everyone that I come into contact with. I go into her room each night  to watch her sleep and to feel for just a moment the true joy of my new responsibility called motherhood.

So as I look forward to the next ten years, I only hope that I can continue to love harder, forgive easier (both myself and others), and live life fuller. That the 3.0 version of myself will only bring me closer to God and the person that I have always wanted to be.  So here's to my thirties.

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